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If I know what love is, it is because of you.

Valentines’ Day came and went.

My eldest child was the most excited person in our family. She was quick to want to tell us (her parents), her siblings and her good friends how much she loves them. It delighted her to celebrate love and spread actions of love around her.

She is our cheerleader of love in our family.

Our society is essentially a congregation of people and social norms. We shape our society through our behavior. Our actions of love, generosity, kindness contribute to a positive community and harmonious family.

In a nutshell, the collective social intelligence of a society determines what we term ‘social graciousness’, and how enjoyable our living environment is.

How do we raise socially intelligent child? How does social intelligence differ from emotional intelligence?

It’s through guiding the child’s social intelligence (and ours as a parent) that we develop his/her emotional intelligence too. With a strong emotional core, stable social connections, our child will then be able to tap into his/her full cognitive potential.

In my book, Right From The Mind, I discuss the key ways of shaping a child’s social intelligence.

1. Social ease: starts with creating a diverse social circle. Multilingualism is a tool that can only be utilised if we live in a diverse environment, hence contributing to the child’s versatility in communication.

2. Sibling dynamics: our siblings may make up our very first social circle. Our brother and sister may remain our lifelong closest friend, or a stranger with blood connection.

How does a parent manage sibling dynamics? Does love multiply? Would fairness avoid sibling rivalry? Would symmetric treatment promote sibling cohesiveness?

3. Spousal relationship: the relationship between parents sets the first example for the child what love is. How we handle our disagreement and how we display our affection contribute to the security of the child.

4. Unconditional love: How do we raise a child with unshakeable confidence? It’s really simple. To have the confidence to take the first step, make a mistake and raise from it stems from feeling loved unconditionally.

Telling our child ‘I love you’ without an ‘if’. Unconditional love does not equate indulgence without boundaries. How do we instil a sense of discipline and motivation whilst loving our child unconditionally? Can we spare the rod and not spoil the child? Can we strengthen character without tough love?

Our child is a work-in-progress. We cannot be expecting perfect social responses from them all the time. The value-add from school and parents is to guide them through the child towards positive, desirable social responses.

‘If I know what love is, it is because of you.’ – Hermann Hesse

Our child may be one of our main reasons of our life. Don’t forget – so are we to them.

Spread the cheer of love with our latest enrichment class addition. We are working with Cheer Hero All Stars to bring you Malaysia’s very first Preschool Cheerleading program. Cheer Hero has been offering cheerleading classes from primary school and we are happy to work with them to open an all new class for boys and girls from 5 years old. PM us for more information on schedule for each branch.

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